Monday, February 22, 2016

Let's be less than perfect

I was looking back through my Facebook posts from over the years and I've noticed a trend.  I've noticed that my posts have become less and less real.  I've started posting funny sayings, recipes, a few pictures here and there...most of the time I really censor what I'm thinking.  I don't let out what I really want to write.  I find myself thinking...why?

Why have I suddenly become this person who won't vent to friends and family?  Why don't I put out there my failures, frustrations, or just general thoughts?  I look around and notice many of my friends doing the same thing...if they even post at all!

I miss hearing from my friends so far away.  I miss being able to commiserate with them...I miss being able to joke about the blunders of life.  I miss seeing my friends' kids grow up...and I miss learning that they are going through the same craziness that my kids are going through.  I miss feeling a real connection to those people I was once closest too.

It's a nasty trend, really, this need to be perfect.  It's a horrible habit to indulge in, this need to show the world only the good.  And while we are at it, why are we showing the "world" anything?  Shouldn't our social media be for those people we actually like and want to hang out with?  Shouldn't it be a personal experience where we can talk and show and BE ourselves because we know that we are among friends? 

I don't know how it started, but somehow our social media is no longer about keeping up with friends and family, but it's this weird networking thing where we have to constantly be aware of someone "watching" us.  Heaven forbid we put something out there about how we want to run away from home, or how our husband was an ass that day, or how our kids were horrible little heathens!  Someone might judge us!!  Sheesh.

I want to go back to the real.  That's right...I went all Morpheus on you.  I want to go to the real.  That place where I know my friends are going to totally understand that I'm not an alcoholic, but it was a rough day and I want to be able to sleep that night.  I want to be able to say my husband is a jerk because he bought himself a book and didn't think to bring me home a Starbucks's coffee.  (seriously...that is kinda jerky!)  My friends and family will know I'm not going to divorce him and they know I still love him...but man, if I can't vent to friends and family, who can I vent to?

Research is showing that this generation of social media is doing some damage.  It's making us anti-social and depressed. More and more people are feeling like less because all that stuff out there that's all happy, and pretty, and perfect.  All these people are totally content in their lives, have perfect kids, and bake the world's best cookies.  Sure, sure...some people might think they live a blessed life and that's great.  FOR THEM.  The rest of us need more of "the real".

I think we need more people to put out there the times when they felt like God totally ignored them.  Or that time they were pretty sure their kid was going to be in the 3rd grade forever.  Or that other time when their kid pitched an absolute fit because you refused to buy the purple socks because they were $3 more!  We need more honesty in the world.  Tell about those times when you were lonely.  Tell about the time you hated life and wanted to move to Brazil.  Really.  Tell us!

Why should you?  Because it will help you and me.  You will find more than one ear willing to listen, hands willing to fold in prayer, and more than one person out there is going to make you feel normal by saying "been there, done that".  It will help me not feel alone.  OH, Hooray!  I'm not the only one with kids who might not see their next birthday.  Really, your husband forgets when you have an appointment scheduled too?  Awesome. 

Seriously...let's consider being more open and honest with each other.  Are you afraid?  Why?  I'm not saying that to be snarky, but to really ask...why?  Are you worried that the people who read your Facebook page or Twitter account are going to think less of you?  Are you worried you are going to spoil some image of yourself? 

There are some pretty easy remedies to those fears.  No one says you have to keep people on your social media...bump those people that drive you nuts.  Delete those who won't support you.  Are they family?  That one can get touchy...but if it's really driving you nuts...out they go!  You are a big girl (or boy) now!!  You are so allowed to be your own person. If you are worried about your image...well, maybe you need to ask why?  If you have to have this image of perfection out there for the world to see, you might have some issues that need tackling.  While no one likes screwing up, or being broken and down...I think we will all be surprised to find out that UN-perfectionism is actually more attractive to other human beings than we thought. 

So, there you go...there's my rant.  If you actually made it all the way to the end...Thanks!  You stuck with  me!  And I hope when I post on FB that I need a glass of wine...again...that you won't call Child Services, because you will totally understand where I'm coming from!  (and no...I'm not drinking the wine so I can use the bottle for some Pinterest craft...that bottle is going in the recycle when I'm done with it!)

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