I am a Christian. That doesn't make me stupid. It doesn't mean I don't study science, or teach my children about the Big Bang Theory. It doesn't make me blind or a bigot.
It means I have faith in a higher power. It means I choose to follow a certain set of rules that go with being a Christian. Even when I think those rules stink sometimes.
I am a Christian. That doesn't make me perfect or better than anyone. It doesn't make me a fanatic or crazy.
I get so tired of hearing people slam Christians as stupid, or bigots, or haters. It bothers me when I have friends who seem to go out of their way to insult my faith because I don't support gay marriage, or abortion, or wearing immodest clothes.
No. I don't support gay marriage. I will not vote and say "Yes" to something because you think it's the right thing to do. On that same note, I will not go out of my way to make a gay person feel like a leper. I will not cast stones at their house, nor will I make my children avoid their children. I just won't tell that person what they are doing is right. Why is that so wrong?
When did it become wrong to have an opinion? When did it become really wrong to have an opinion different from yours? When did it become wrong to believe in God?
No. I don't support abortion. Not at 10 weeks, 20 weeks, or 40 weeks. It is wrong to kill a child. Does that mean I will fire bomb abortion clinics? No! Does that mean I will hate those who have made the choice to have an abortion? NO! Does it mean I will mourn the lose of life when that decision is made? Yes!
What a selfish society we have become, when we can claim that abortion, all abortion, is a woman's right to her health! There is life growing inside a woman when she is pregnant, and life is beautiful! We get so angry at little girls abandoned in China simply because she is a girl. We get angry when a child is left in a dumpster or on a doorstep. I see no difference when one is pulled out of a woman's body and put in an orange trash bag.
No. I don't support women being able to dress like a hooker. Does that mean I agree that a woman "Asked for it" when she is raped? Certainly not! I support modesty for an entirely different reason. What happened to the idea that our bodies are something special? What happened to the idea that women should only reveal a little of their bodies, to keep something back for the man who loves her?
When did it become ok for our boobs to hang out of our shirts and our bums to hang out of our shorts? Why is the current obsession about letting it all hang out...sending the message that we think our bodies are for "display only"? Why don't women have more respect for themselves than that? Why aren't they teaching their daughters to have more respect for themselves than that?!
Society bothers me these days! So much emphasis is put on what feels good that we forget there is a consequence for our actions. We think about more, better, and now, and we forget the value of patience and earning something. We compete with each other for material goods and we forget the value of simple things...like playing outside with a ball in the rain.
More than all that, it really bothers me that as an American I'm being told that my choices, my opinions are invalid and unvalued...all because I do not agree with what is popular. More and more, I feel the need to speak out, to shout out about my faith and my God...maybe because I'm tired of being called stupid and bigot. Or maybe because God is telling me it's time to crank up my light for the world to see. I don't know...but I sure am tired of being silent.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
A Mom for Mother's Day
Tomorrow is Mother's Day.
What makes a mom? What sets a woman apart from all the other women to be entitled to a day of her own? Is popping out a child a reason to celebrate? Is giving a child a roof, clothes, food and an education enough to be called mom? Does a woman have to follow a certain set of child raising rules (which, if you have a copy, can you please send it to me?) in order to be given the title of Mom?
I'm wondering this today, because honestly I wonder what my kids think of me. I was watching the news today and listening to those cute 5 and 6 year old kids they find answer the question "What is your Mom to you?", and it made me wonder...and hope...and fear, just a little what the answers of my children would be like.
All the time you see commercials, or blogs, or YouTube videos about moms and how hard their job is or all the things they put up with or all the work and support they give to their children. Really and truly, those little pieces of media make us sound like a super hero in disguise! Man, I want my cape!
However, I know that every day I have to make choices. I have to choose whether to clean my house or dance with my daughters. I have to choose to work on math problems or practice batting with my son. I have to choose to read a book for myself, or read a book to my youngest. I know I have to choose patience (again) or to loose my cool. I have to choose to learn a new way to help my daughter learn Biblical concepts or just get frustrated that she can't get it the way I'm teaching it to everyone.
I know I have to choose to SHOW love and not just say love. I know that I don't always make the right choice.
I think the mom who is worth celebrating, is the mom who messes up. The mom we give thanks for is the mom who got up that morning and said "I'm going to try again". The moms who never give up, who never stop learning, who make the choices that are hard and heartbreaking and not always right in the eyes of everyone else.
I love my mom. I look back and know that every day she made the decision to not give up on me. Every day she made a choice to try again...no matter how badly I frustrated, annoyed, irritated, or frightened her. Every day she got up and told herself that she loved me and I was worth the fight.
I know this now because I have three kids of my own, and because I have made mistakes from day one. I know this now because I have had to make some of the same decisions. I was not the easiest of kids...and neither are my kids! I guess that means, in reality, no kid is easy. I don't think they are supposed to be easy.
So, what makes a mom worth celebrating? Do you worry if you are worthy? Well, if you are one of those moms who is worried about if she's doing it right...if she's raising good human beings...if she's not warping the minds of her children...then I'm pretty sure you are worthy. Relax, momma. Enjoy your day...however it plays out. :)
What makes a mom? What sets a woman apart from all the other women to be entitled to a day of her own? Is popping out a child a reason to celebrate? Is giving a child a roof, clothes, food and an education enough to be called mom? Does a woman have to follow a certain set of child raising rules (which, if you have a copy, can you please send it to me?) in order to be given the title of Mom?
I'm wondering this today, because honestly I wonder what my kids think of me. I was watching the news today and listening to those cute 5 and 6 year old kids they find answer the question "What is your Mom to you?", and it made me wonder...and hope...and fear, just a little what the answers of my children would be like.
All the time you see commercials, or blogs, or YouTube videos about moms and how hard their job is or all the things they put up with or all the work and support they give to their children. Really and truly, those little pieces of media make us sound like a super hero in disguise! Man, I want my cape!
However, I know that every day I have to make choices. I have to choose whether to clean my house or dance with my daughters. I have to choose to work on math problems or practice batting with my son. I have to choose to read a book for myself, or read a book to my youngest. I know I have to choose patience (again) or to loose my cool. I have to choose to learn a new way to help my daughter learn Biblical concepts or just get frustrated that she can't get it the way I'm teaching it to everyone.
I know I have to choose to SHOW love and not just say love. I know that I don't always make the right choice.
I think the mom who is worth celebrating, is the mom who messes up. The mom we give thanks for is the mom who got up that morning and said "I'm going to try again". The moms who never give up, who never stop learning, who make the choices that are hard and heartbreaking and not always right in the eyes of everyone else.
I love my mom. I look back and know that every day she made the decision to not give up on me. Every day she made a choice to try again...no matter how badly I frustrated, annoyed, irritated, or frightened her. Every day she got up and told herself that she loved me and I was worth the fight.
I know this now because I have three kids of my own, and because I have made mistakes from day one. I know this now because I have had to make some of the same decisions. I was not the easiest of kids...and neither are my kids! I guess that means, in reality, no kid is easy. I don't think they are supposed to be easy.
So, what makes a mom worth celebrating? Do you worry if you are worthy? Well, if you are one of those moms who is worried about if she's doing it right...if she's raising good human beings...if she's not warping the minds of her children...then I'm pretty sure you are worthy. Relax, momma. Enjoy your day...however it plays out. :)
Monday, April 21, 2014
Those things I said NEVER to...
Life is never what I expect it to be. I look back on all those things I thought would happen and just don't see any of them there. You see, I thought my life would progress a certain way. I was sure that I would meet certain milestones at certain times. I was even more positive of things that I would and would not do in my life. I was incredibly wrong.
Two years ago I began homeschooling. I began this after trashing homeschoolers, saying I could never do it, and even writing a thesis paper on how public schools were so much better than homeschooling. Yup...was not going to homeschool. If I was ever put into the position where I would "have" to, I was certain I would go to jail. Not for truancy, but for murder of three minors!
However, God had a different plan. In spite of my fears, doubts and lack of knowledge (and the fears and doubts of many I love and respect), I pulled my kids out of public school and sent in my notice of intent to homeschool in New Mexico. New Mexico promptly washed its hands of me. I was on my own.
I remember thinking there needs to be more discipline in homeschooling. After all, kids went to public school for 8 hours a day...mine kids would school for the same amount of time. I remember thinking school work would be done at their desks, which my parents so kindly got us for Christmas. I remember thinking that I would become "Teacher" and "Mom" would go away until after school was done. I remember thinking a lot!
I remember never thinking about sibling relations and the fights that go with that. I remember not even considering the issue of creativity and boredom. I remember never doubting that I was smart enough to do this...and then we actually began schooling.
The first year sucked. I'm not sure how we got through it. I'm not sure how we are all still alive, because I have no doubt that many a meeting took place in the back yard with my kids. I have no doubt they were planning my untimely demise. I myself plotted ways to dispose of bodies. (I love watching CSI...so many tips, right?) There were fights. Fights among brother and sister, sister and sister, mother and son, mother and daughter, mother and mother (yeah, you read that right...I fought with myself). There were days I threatened to ground MYSELF just so I could have some alone time and quiet. There were other days I said screw it and we just didn't do anything that day.
I cried a lot that first year. My kids cried a lot that first year. I can't think of anything good about that first year.
Except...Katie learned to be creative and bold again. David learned that it is actually important for people to be able to read what he writes. Emily thrived under the challenge of learning beyond her grade level. Katie learned that tests do not have to be feared. David learned that it's ok to read books. Emily learned it's alright to be smart. Yeah...nothing good happened that year.
We have two months left of schooling this year. I'm not counting down or anything...just reminding myself that we really do need to finish up this grade level eventually (sooner rather than later would be nice). As I look around my house I see the things I SWORE I would not allow. I see my kids art work on all the walls. I see Mars colony plans, and laundry baskets of unfolded clothes. I see a scarred dining room table with hand written letters waiting to be mailed, a canvas painting, and a white board with a geography lesson on it. I see school desks with half finished art projects, graded papers, trophies and who knows what else on them. I see dust and finger prints, toys and...and learning. I see my children's pride in what they are doing. I see their gratitude that I think what they are doing is worth tacking up on walls, leaving on a desk to be finished, or even worth leaving chores undone so something else can be learned.
I still don't know if I'm doing this right. I still worry and still get frustrated and still debate if going back to "real school" would be better for them. I still listen to the concerns of those I love and respect and doubt my ability to do what is best. Then I look around my house and see my kids. I see my son researching WWII planes. I see my oldest daughter creating works of HER art. I see my youngest daughter dragging out the Bible to voluntarily read to me...you know, the kid who swears she can't read? I see improvements in math and spelling and handwriting. I see joy during science experiments, and I hear three children going out of their way to help each other learn.
So, for those of you out there who face those same fears and doubts, for those of you fighting back tears and screams of rage and frustration...don't worry. You aren't alone. Take a deep breath and just get through today. Tomorrow is a whole 'nother kettle of fish and it will only give you a headache to think about it. Look around your house and find the good things...even if they are buried under dishes and laundry and little bit of blood from that last fight between siblings. I think we are all doing better than we think we are.
Or at least I sincerely hope so!
Two years ago I began homeschooling. I began this after trashing homeschoolers, saying I could never do it, and even writing a thesis paper on how public schools were so much better than homeschooling. Yup...was not going to homeschool. If I was ever put into the position where I would "have" to, I was certain I would go to jail. Not for truancy, but for murder of three minors!
However, God had a different plan. In spite of my fears, doubts and lack of knowledge (and the fears and doubts of many I love and respect), I pulled my kids out of public school and sent in my notice of intent to homeschool in New Mexico. New Mexico promptly washed its hands of me. I was on my own.
I remember thinking there needs to be more discipline in homeschooling. After all, kids went to public school for 8 hours a day...mine kids would school for the same amount of time. I remember thinking school work would be done at their desks, which my parents so kindly got us for Christmas. I remember thinking that I would become "Teacher" and "Mom" would go away until after school was done. I remember thinking a lot!
I remember never thinking about sibling relations and the fights that go with that. I remember not even considering the issue of creativity and boredom. I remember never doubting that I was smart enough to do this...and then we actually began schooling.
The first year sucked. I'm not sure how we got through it. I'm not sure how we are all still alive, because I have no doubt that many a meeting took place in the back yard with my kids. I have no doubt they were planning my untimely demise. I myself plotted ways to dispose of bodies. (I love watching CSI...so many tips, right?) There were fights. Fights among brother and sister, sister and sister, mother and son, mother and daughter, mother and mother (yeah, you read that right...I fought with myself). There were days I threatened to ground MYSELF just so I could have some alone time and quiet. There were other days I said screw it and we just didn't do anything that day.
I cried a lot that first year. My kids cried a lot that first year. I can't think of anything good about that first year.
Except...Katie learned to be creative and bold again. David learned that it is actually important for people to be able to read what he writes. Emily thrived under the challenge of learning beyond her grade level. Katie learned that tests do not have to be feared. David learned that it's ok to read books. Emily learned it's alright to be smart. Yeah...nothing good happened that year.
We have two months left of schooling this year. I'm not counting down or anything...just reminding myself that we really do need to finish up this grade level eventually (sooner rather than later would be nice). As I look around my house I see the things I SWORE I would not allow. I see my kids art work on all the walls. I see Mars colony plans, and laundry baskets of unfolded clothes. I see a scarred dining room table with hand written letters waiting to be mailed, a canvas painting, and a white board with a geography lesson on it. I see school desks with half finished art projects, graded papers, trophies and who knows what else on them. I see dust and finger prints, toys and...and learning. I see my children's pride in what they are doing. I see their gratitude that I think what they are doing is worth tacking up on walls, leaving on a desk to be finished, or even worth leaving chores undone so something else can be learned.
I still don't know if I'm doing this right. I still worry and still get frustrated and still debate if going back to "real school" would be better for them. I still listen to the concerns of those I love and respect and doubt my ability to do what is best. Then I look around my house and see my kids. I see my son researching WWII planes. I see my oldest daughter creating works of HER art. I see my youngest daughter dragging out the Bible to voluntarily read to me...you know, the kid who swears she can't read? I see improvements in math and spelling and handwriting. I see joy during science experiments, and I hear three children going out of their way to help each other learn.
So, for those of you out there who face those same fears and doubts, for those of you fighting back tears and screams of rage and frustration...don't worry. You aren't alone. Take a deep breath and just get through today. Tomorrow is a whole 'nother kettle of fish and it will only give you a headache to think about it. Look around your house and find the good things...even if they are buried under dishes and laundry and little bit of blood from that last fight between siblings. I think we are all doing better than we think we are.
Or at least I sincerely hope so!
Thursday, March 20, 2014
New Year, New Blessings
This is year has been a strange year. One filled with pain, waiting, indecision, and so many blessings and miracles. I know it's March, and the end of March to boot, but I feel the need to think on my new year blessings.
You see, we began the year without a dog. Daddy has some pretty severe allergies. We have tried other dogs before, and within days all of them were a no go. Our poor hearts have been broken more than once, not to mention our wallets! For some reason, my husband refused to take allergy pills. I guess he didn't want to have to remember one more pill in the morning. Suddenly, after the new year, my husband decided that since he couldn't give the boy a brother, he would do his best to give him a dog. He agreed to start taking allergy pills. Now, being here in Korea made finding the right dog a serious challenge. There was no puppy store, no variety of shelters to visit to help us pick the perfect dog. Suddenly, there was the perfect dog! And just a suddenly, he had new owners. Sigh.
The boy really wanted that dog, but he was afraid of being broken hearted again. He didn't know what to do. I thought about it and remembered a class I took where the discussion revolved around being specific in our prayers. Yes, God already knows what we want, but He wants us to talk to Him. To tell Him in great detail our needs and heart's desires. So, the boy and I laid down together one night and prayed...for a dog that could be ours forever, for a dog that wouldn't make daddy sick, for a dog that would love us, for a dog that could handle being in an apartment...and if we could have those things, we asked God to provide one for us within the next 30 days. If we did not find a dog in 30 days we would know God did not plan on us having a dog in our family.
One week later, that same dog I thought would have been perfect but got adopted by someone else, was suddenly available again. Just like that...for no reason the new owners decided they couldn't keep him. I heard God speaking. The weekend after we found out he was available again, we went out to go see him.
It has been two months now and we still have our dog Lupin. He is crazy and plays with us and tries to sleep on the bed with me and follows us everywhere. Daddy isn't sick. That silly dog was our first blessing of the year.
At the same time we were looking for a dog to join our family, I needed surgery. I had a couple of ovarian cysts that were giving me a great deal of trouble. I was no longer myself...I had turned into the weak, tired, sick woman that was just no fun to be around. Our homeschool was suffering because I often had to take naps or pause to be ill. Many days I was happy if we managed to get two subjects done before I gave up for the day. I was originally scheduled to have surgery in mid January. I was so excited to finally have it done....and then my surgeon called and said it was a no go. He was refusing to do the surgery.
I was so mad! Everything in our lives was suffering because I could not do the things I had always done and this bonehead decides it's too risky for him to do the surgery. I have to admit I asked God Why?! Ugh! I was less than happy, especially when I understood they were going to send me downtown to a Korean hospital. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Korea...I have enjoyed my time here. I still speak only about 5 words of Korean, but I'm supposed to have surgery in a Korean hospital??
Needless to say, there was no convincing the doc to do the surgery in the American hospital and my insurance was NOT going to send me stateside just so I wasn't uncomfortable with the culture and language differences. I went off to Samsung Medical Center at the end of January more than a little nervous.
SMC was really nice. They had a wonderful English speaking guide to take us around everywhere. The doctor spoke English and seemed to think the surgery would be a piece of cake (unlike my American doctor). He sent me off to consult with another doc just to make sure everything on the inside was working well. I got my preop stuff all taken care of, and I was stoked because that meant surgery should be pretty soon. Right?
Wrong. My surgery was not to be scheduled until 14 March. I won't lie...I cried in the car on the way home. I had to wait two whole months before I could be better. Before I could walk to the store without pain, before I could teach all day without being exhausted, before I could go sightseeing again, before I could eat without wanting to be sick, before I could clean my house to my standards, before...well, just before.
I don't remember yelling at God this time. I just remember crying to Him. I was sad, and sick and tired...and He wanted me to wait another 2 months on top of all the time I had already waited. I knew everything happened for a reason and that there can be a lesson learned in the trials of life. So, I started trying to understand and started looking for the lesson. Strangely enough, I started going back to church again and took the kids with me. I remember the final sermon before I had my surgery was about not looking back at the "good ole days", but at finding the blessings in today. Taking a look at what it is I have now and being thankful for it. Finally, I think I understood what it was He was trying to show me. In spite of all my problems, I still had much. Because of my weakness, I learned to let others help me. I gave the kids more responsibility, and asked my husband for more help with the errands. I got a house cleaner to come out twice a week (oh, that one stung!) so I didn't loose my mind over a dirty house. I learned to let things go.
We were also worried about how the surgery would go. After all, the last time I had surgery it did NOT go as planned. In fact there were many things that went against the plan. Instead of a 90 minute surgery, I was on the table for 6 hours. The docs here at SMC could not tell me if they could see anything inside me that might indicate a repeat of my first surgery. We simply did not know what would happen. So, as with the dog, we prayed. Specifically, intentionally and with great purpose. I asked others to pray in the same way for me...something I rarely do. I really didn't want another 6 week recovery period. I really just wanted to be normal again.
On March 14th, I went in to surgery at 0930 and woke up at 1200. I had not been cut open. There would be no long recovery. I went home the very next day. I could walk, pee, lift, and do normal things. God blessed us with a miracle once again. I am me again. I can't wait for next week so I can do regular school work with the kids, and I can take them outside for PE and do a field trip. I am me again.
Finally, yesterday, we received another blessing of the new year. My husband made rank. We don't have to retire now. We don't have to worry about finding a job right after we come back from Korea. We don't have to worry about completing a Masters degree in two years. After having our life plans up in the air since December of last year, God has given us guidance. God had given my husband hope that the faithful are still rewarded and that hard work does not go unnoticed. God has given my children a shining example of the fact that doing what God asks does bring about rewards. God has shown all of us that our prayers are certainly heard. We are blessed this new year indeed.
The beginning of this year has taught us to wait on His time. To pray, not vaguely and half-heartedly, but with purpose and with great faith that He will do what He says. This year has reminded us that miracles still happen, the faithful receive rewards from heaven, and that yes, He certainly does love His children.
I know that sounds blithe and happy go lucky. I know the world is still full of sorrow and pain. I know bad things will happen, and they may even happen to my family. I know. But right now, I will give praise and thanks for the simple, yet meaningful, things God has done for us in these past three months. I will continue to believe in the hope called Christ.
You see, we began the year without a dog. Daddy has some pretty severe allergies. We have tried other dogs before, and within days all of them were a no go. Our poor hearts have been broken more than once, not to mention our wallets! For some reason, my husband refused to take allergy pills. I guess he didn't want to have to remember one more pill in the morning. Suddenly, after the new year, my husband decided that since he couldn't give the boy a brother, he would do his best to give him a dog. He agreed to start taking allergy pills. Now, being here in Korea made finding the right dog a serious challenge. There was no puppy store, no variety of shelters to visit to help us pick the perfect dog. Suddenly, there was the perfect dog! And just a suddenly, he had new owners. Sigh.
The boy really wanted that dog, but he was afraid of being broken hearted again. He didn't know what to do. I thought about it and remembered a class I took where the discussion revolved around being specific in our prayers. Yes, God already knows what we want, but He wants us to talk to Him. To tell Him in great detail our needs and heart's desires. So, the boy and I laid down together one night and prayed...for a dog that could be ours forever, for a dog that wouldn't make daddy sick, for a dog that would love us, for a dog that could handle being in an apartment...and if we could have those things, we asked God to provide one for us within the next 30 days. If we did not find a dog in 30 days we would know God did not plan on us having a dog in our family.
One week later, that same dog I thought would have been perfect but got adopted by someone else, was suddenly available again. Just like that...for no reason the new owners decided they couldn't keep him. I heard God speaking. The weekend after we found out he was available again, we went out to go see him.
It has been two months now and we still have our dog Lupin. He is crazy and plays with us and tries to sleep on the bed with me and follows us everywhere. Daddy isn't sick. That silly dog was our first blessing of the year.
At the same time we were looking for a dog to join our family, I needed surgery. I had a couple of ovarian cysts that were giving me a great deal of trouble. I was no longer myself...I had turned into the weak, tired, sick woman that was just no fun to be around. Our homeschool was suffering because I often had to take naps or pause to be ill. Many days I was happy if we managed to get two subjects done before I gave up for the day. I was originally scheduled to have surgery in mid January. I was so excited to finally have it done....and then my surgeon called and said it was a no go. He was refusing to do the surgery.
I was so mad! Everything in our lives was suffering because I could not do the things I had always done and this bonehead decides it's too risky for him to do the surgery. I have to admit I asked God Why?! Ugh! I was less than happy, especially when I understood they were going to send me downtown to a Korean hospital. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Korea...I have enjoyed my time here. I still speak only about 5 words of Korean, but I'm supposed to have surgery in a Korean hospital??
Needless to say, there was no convincing the doc to do the surgery in the American hospital and my insurance was NOT going to send me stateside just so I wasn't uncomfortable with the culture and language differences. I went off to Samsung Medical Center at the end of January more than a little nervous.
SMC was really nice. They had a wonderful English speaking guide to take us around everywhere. The doctor spoke English and seemed to think the surgery would be a piece of cake (unlike my American doctor). He sent me off to consult with another doc just to make sure everything on the inside was working well. I got my preop stuff all taken care of, and I was stoked because that meant surgery should be pretty soon. Right?
Wrong. My surgery was not to be scheduled until 14 March. I won't lie...I cried in the car on the way home. I had to wait two whole months before I could be better. Before I could walk to the store without pain, before I could teach all day without being exhausted, before I could go sightseeing again, before I could eat without wanting to be sick, before I could clean my house to my standards, before...well, just before.
I don't remember yelling at God this time. I just remember crying to Him. I was sad, and sick and tired...and He wanted me to wait another 2 months on top of all the time I had already waited. I knew everything happened for a reason and that there can be a lesson learned in the trials of life. So, I started trying to understand and started looking for the lesson. Strangely enough, I started going back to church again and took the kids with me. I remember the final sermon before I had my surgery was about not looking back at the "good ole days", but at finding the blessings in today. Taking a look at what it is I have now and being thankful for it. Finally, I think I understood what it was He was trying to show me. In spite of all my problems, I still had much. Because of my weakness, I learned to let others help me. I gave the kids more responsibility, and asked my husband for more help with the errands. I got a house cleaner to come out twice a week (oh, that one stung!) so I didn't loose my mind over a dirty house. I learned to let things go.
We were also worried about how the surgery would go. After all, the last time I had surgery it did NOT go as planned. In fact there were many things that went against the plan. Instead of a 90 minute surgery, I was on the table for 6 hours. The docs here at SMC could not tell me if they could see anything inside me that might indicate a repeat of my first surgery. We simply did not know what would happen. So, as with the dog, we prayed. Specifically, intentionally and with great purpose. I asked others to pray in the same way for me...something I rarely do. I really didn't want another 6 week recovery period. I really just wanted to be normal again.
On March 14th, I went in to surgery at 0930 and woke up at 1200. I had not been cut open. There would be no long recovery. I went home the very next day. I could walk, pee, lift, and do normal things. God blessed us with a miracle once again. I am me again. I can't wait for next week so I can do regular school work with the kids, and I can take them outside for PE and do a field trip. I am me again.
Finally, yesterday, we received another blessing of the new year. My husband made rank. We don't have to retire now. We don't have to worry about finding a job right after we come back from Korea. We don't have to worry about completing a Masters degree in two years. After having our life plans up in the air since December of last year, God has given us guidance. God had given my husband hope that the faithful are still rewarded and that hard work does not go unnoticed. God has given my children a shining example of the fact that doing what God asks does bring about rewards. God has shown all of us that our prayers are certainly heard. We are blessed this new year indeed.
The beginning of this year has taught us to wait on His time. To pray, not vaguely and half-heartedly, but with purpose and with great faith that He will do what He says. This year has reminded us that miracles still happen, the faithful receive rewards from heaven, and that yes, He certainly does love His children.
I know that sounds blithe and happy go lucky. I know the world is still full of sorrow and pain. I know bad things will happen, and they may even happen to my family. I know. But right now, I will give praise and thanks for the simple, yet meaningful, things God has done for us in these past three months. I will continue to believe in the hope called Christ.
Monday, February 24, 2014
The Real Homeschool
One of the challenges no one really talks about with homeschooling has nothing to do with your kids, or lack of money, or the all powerful social scene. It has to do with the teacher. No, not the teacher's qualifications or college education, but the health of that teacher.
I've discovered over the last several months that my health plays a key role in my ability to homeschool. You can't really teach fractions with your head in the toilet. You can't do science experiments while you are blinded by a migraine. You certainly can't go over a history lesson passed out in bed.
I never thought about that aspect of homeschooling before. I'm a healthy person, not inclined to illness or weakness, so it's been quite the eye opener lately to find myself restricted to only being able to fit in a few hours, if any, of teaching my children.
My children have handled this remarkably well. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to go lie down, or drink some water, eat some lunch, or quit working so hard. Now, granted I'm a suspicious kind of person, so I'm pretty sure there were ulterior motives behind this niceness. After all, if I was in bed I wasn't making them write book reports or reduce fractions or look up misspelled words in the dictionary. I can't really say I blame them but it preyed on my mind constantly that my health was going to make my children fail in life. Yup, I went there...in LIFE. Not just this grade or even in school, but in all of life itself. Sigh.
My health still isn't what it will be in 17 days and a wake up, after I have surgery. Every day is still a challenge, and honestly, it's an unknown factor until I actually put my feet on the floor every morning. My kids still ask if we are having school every morning. My response is still yes...for now.
I've also discovered that homeschooling is remarkably flexible. Children adapt and somehow still absorb what ever knowledge you put in front of them. Watching You Tube videos of the Liberty Kids isn't an epic fail. Playing spelling word Twister is an acceptable form of education. Watching National Geographic brings up some really interesting questions that can take hours to discuss. Reading books out loud can not only fill the time; it can bring peace to the house.
We will catch up on our fractions, and letters, and handwriting. After all, they don't have to "move on" to the next grade until they are ready. And they certainly don't have to fill in every problem in their workbook in order to be considered ready to move on.
All that being said, today we had our first "full" day of schooling in about two weeks. There were some tears, there were some things we will do tomorrow instead of today, and there was fun. We learned today and worked today. We will try to do the same tomorrow...and if we can't, then we'll watch some more Nat Geo, and that's ok too.
I've discovered over the last several months that my health plays a key role in my ability to homeschool. You can't really teach fractions with your head in the toilet. You can't do science experiments while you are blinded by a migraine. You certainly can't go over a history lesson passed out in bed.
I never thought about that aspect of homeschooling before. I'm a healthy person, not inclined to illness or weakness, so it's been quite the eye opener lately to find myself restricted to only being able to fit in a few hours, if any, of teaching my children.
My children have handled this remarkably well. I can't tell you how many times I've been told to go lie down, or drink some water, eat some lunch, or quit working so hard. Now, granted I'm a suspicious kind of person, so I'm pretty sure there were ulterior motives behind this niceness. After all, if I was in bed I wasn't making them write book reports or reduce fractions or look up misspelled words in the dictionary. I can't really say I blame them but it preyed on my mind constantly that my health was going to make my children fail in life. Yup, I went there...in LIFE. Not just this grade or even in school, but in all of life itself. Sigh.
My health still isn't what it will be in 17 days and a wake up, after I have surgery. Every day is still a challenge, and honestly, it's an unknown factor until I actually put my feet on the floor every morning. My kids still ask if we are having school every morning. My response is still yes...for now.
I've also discovered that homeschooling is remarkably flexible. Children adapt and somehow still absorb what ever knowledge you put in front of them. Watching You Tube videos of the Liberty Kids isn't an epic fail. Playing spelling word Twister is an acceptable form of education. Watching National Geographic brings up some really interesting questions that can take hours to discuss. Reading books out loud can not only fill the time; it can bring peace to the house.
We will catch up on our fractions, and letters, and handwriting. After all, they don't have to "move on" to the next grade until they are ready. And they certainly don't have to fill in every problem in their workbook in order to be considered ready to move on.
All that being said, today we had our first "full" day of schooling in about two weeks. There were some tears, there were some things we will do tomorrow instead of today, and there was fun. We learned today and worked today. We will try to do the same tomorrow...and if we can't, then we'll watch some more Nat Geo, and that's ok too.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Musings
My daughter told me the other day "I feel like God is telling me I'm going to be challenged, and that this is going to be hard". It struck a chord in me because I had been feeling the same way.
Some of you know I have to have surgery again. I have some things growing inside me that just aren't supposed to be there. I'm pretty certain that the children I have a miracles from God, because as messed up as my insides are, I should not have had kids! Anyway, I was sent up to the Army base here to have surgery and was recently told that they cannot do my surgery. They don't have a certain specialist on staff and don't want to risk needing that person when they open me up.
The surgeon recommend me going stateside to have the surgery. That brought up so many questions for my family...where will they send me? Can my family come with me? How long will I be stateside? Whew! On and on - the what-ifs were eating me alive. Not to mention they may deny me going stateside and tell me to have surgery here in Korea.
Over all of this is the hurry up and wait...hurry up and wait while the pain gets worse, the sickness increases and my day is limited because exercise and stress makes the pain worse. You guys know I am not good at this waiting thing. That being said, I'm having to model patience and faith to my children. They, too, are worried and impatient. They have their doubts and fears. Something a person never thinks of before they have kids is can I hide my fears in front of my children? Can I over come the stress of a situation to put a good face on it for the kids? I'm hoping that most days I succeed.
In the meantime, life carries on. Our holidays aren't really holidays any more, but more like times of service. I'm almost ok with that...almost. OK, not really. I have to admit I miss the times when holidays were about the family I'm related to by blood and not about my extended AF family...but I know we did good this year. Airmen were fed and loved on, they go to experience the joys of family with kids and all, and I know how to get them to leave without asking. Put on a kid's movie! About half way through the movie they were bored senseless and were more than willing to go home! hehe. I never said I was a nice person.
We also hosted our extended Korean family for a little holiday here at the base. I think they had a good time...I think. They are so polite and friendly, I bet they could have been bored senseless and never said a word! I know the kids enjoyed their visit, especially since they got to meet one of the sons of the family. He even played basketball with them!
We were given Korean names and we even use them occasionally. The irony of mine is that it sounds just like AWOL. That's right...absent without official leave. hehe. Go figure!
We are trying to get back into seeing the sights of Korea...as much as I can before the pain kicks in, sigh. We saw Seoul tower and dropped a ton of cash doing it! Pretty, yes. Expensive, yes. Worth it...maybe. At least my husband will quit nagging for us to go. Next stop, Incheon...Gateway to Korea.
I guess that's it for now. I suppose this makes up for my lack of posting on Facebook. :)
Some of you know I have to have surgery again. I have some things growing inside me that just aren't supposed to be there. I'm pretty certain that the children I have a miracles from God, because as messed up as my insides are, I should not have had kids! Anyway, I was sent up to the Army base here to have surgery and was recently told that they cannot do my surgery. They don't have a certain specialist on staff and don't want to risk needing that person when they open me up.
The surgeon recommend me going stateside to have the surgery. That brought up so many questions for my family...where will they send me? Can my family come with me? How long will I be stateside? Whew! On and on - the what-ifs were eating me alive. Not to mention they may deny me going stateside and tell me to have surgery here in Korea.
Over all of this is the hurry up and wait...hurry up and wait while the pain gets worse, the sickness increases and my day is limited because exercise and stress makes the pain worse. You guys know I am not good at this waiting thing. That being said, I'm having to model patience and faith to my children. They, too, are worried and impatient. They have their doubts and fears. Something a person never thinks of before they have kids is can I hide my fears in front of my children? Can I over come the stress of a situation to put a good face on it for the kids? I'm hoping that most days I succeed.
In the meantime, life carries on. Our holidays aren't really holidays any more, but more like times of service. I'm almost ok with that...almost. OK, not really. I have to admit I miss the times when holidays were about the family I'm related to by blood and not about my extended AF family...but I know we did good this year. Airmen were fed and loved on, they go to experience the joys of family with kids and all, and I know how to get them to leave without asking. Put on a kid's movie! About half way through the movie they were bored senseless and were more than willing to go home! hehe. I never said I was a nice person.
We also hosted our extended Korean family for a little holiday here at the base. I think they had a good time...I think. They are so polite and friendly, I bet they could have been bored senseless and never said a word! I know the kids enjoyed their visit, especially since they got to meet one of the sons of the family. He even played basketball with them!
We were given Korean names and we even use them occasionally. The irony of mine is that it sounds just like AWOL. That's right...absent without official leave. hehe. Go figure!
We are trying to get back into seeing the sights of Korea...as much as I can before the pain kicks in, sigh. We saw Seoul tower and dropped a ton of cash doing it! Pretty, yes. Expensive, yes. Worth it...maybe. At least my husband will quit nagging for us to go. Next stop, Incheon...Gateway to Korea.
I guess that's it for now. I suppose this makes up for my lack of posting on Facebook. :)
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Fearless....Psalm 3
I like this Psalm! This is a great reminder that no matter what we face, we can face it with the confidence that God will protect us.
As I read the first 2 verses, I think to myself how times have simply not changed. There are still those who do not believe in God. There are still those who would hate those who do believe in God. There are still those who sit back to watch and see if "their God" will save us. The method may be a little different, what with Facebook, cell phones, and news media...but the mentality has not changed. I find that sad, especially here in America where we are supposed to be tolerant of one another. Yes, I find it sad.
The next two verses, however, tell us that not only will He shield us but he will give us glory. I guess each person has a different vision of glory, and that's fine, but God promises that if we follow His path He will bestow glory upon us.
We are reminded that our breath, our life, our ability to wake up in the morning, is due to the good grace of God. We get up every morning because God says we should. While at first there might be a little bit of bitterness at that thought...the thought that God can just say "phfft" and not let us wake up the next morning, once we progress to a deeper trust in God we see though that God chooses to sustain our lives! It is because of Him that we breathe. It is because of Him we see the dawn...and He does not have to be that gracious to us!
On the other note, we are told to not fear. I'm not sure how many times that phrase is in the Bible but I know it's in there a lot! Don't fear! God's got this! What are you worried for? No matter what the situation, fear should not be our response.
We are able to call upon God to strike down our enemies. I think we either forget that, or we are afraid to use that now days. I guess it's not nice and loving to ask God to strike down our enemies. I can honestly say I've never asked for that...I've always asked for more love, more patience, greater understanding. I wonder what would happen if I asked God to simply strike down the enemy? I wonder what would happen if more people remembered we are allowed to do that, and began asking God to strike down the enemy. This Psalm doesn't ask for God to kill them...but to deliever a crushing blow-something they won't forget. This is a strike that may remind people God is! How cool is that?
Yes, I like this Psalm. "May your blessing be on your people."
As I read the first 2 verses, I think to myself how times have simply not changed. There are still those who do not believe in God. There are still those who would hate those who do believe in God. There are still those who sit back to watch and see if "their God" will save us. The method may be a little different, what with Facebook, cell phones, and news media...but the mentality has not changed. I find that sad, especially here in America where we are supposed to be tolerant of one another. Yes, I find it sad.
The next two verses, however, tell us that not only will He shield us but he will give us glory. I guess each person has a different vision of glory, and that's fine, but God promises that if we follow His path He will bestow glory upon us.
We are reminded that our breath, our life, our ability to wake up in the morning, is due to the good grace of God. We get up every morning because God says we should. While at first there might be a little bit of bitterness at that thought...the thought that God can just say "phfft" and not let us wake up the next morning, once we progress to a deeper trust in God we see though that God chooses to sustain our lives! It is because of Him that we breathe. It is because of Him we see the dawn...and He does not have to be that gracious to us!
On the other note, we are told to not fear. I'm not sure how many times that phrase is in the Bible but I know it's in there a lot! Don't fear! God's got this! What are you worried for? No matter what the situation, fear should not be our response.
We are able to call upon God to strike down our enemies. I think we either forget that, or we are afraid to use that now days. I guess it's not nice and loving to ask God to strike down our enemies. I can honestly say I've never asked for that...I've always asked for more love, more patience, greater understanding. I wonder what would happen if I asked God to simply strike down the enemy? I wonder what would happen if more people remembered we are allowed to do that, and began asking God to strike down the enemy. This Psalm doesn't ask for God to kill them...but to deliever a crushing blow-something they won't forget. This is a strike that may remind people God is! How cool is that?
Yes, I like this Psalm. "May your blessing be on your people."
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